A Farewell to Carbs

A 30-something navigating the world of Type 2 Diabetes while remaining fun, fashionable and fabulous.

Battling self-doubt 01/13/2012


I’ve had a bad week.

I have set foot in a gym exactly once in the last six days, meaning I’ve completely blown my goal of fitting in 210 minutes of exercise for the week. I haven’t been keeping track of what I’m eating (meaning I am shoveling unspeakable amounts junk food into my mouth at all hours of the day and night). I completely gave up any facade of trying Thursday and grabbed takeout for lunch and dinner instead of sticking with my eating plan.

All that healthy food I bought over the weekend is just sitting in the fridge, slowly going bad. My sneakers and my iPod have been sitting in my bedroom, gathering dust.

I hate myself for not honoring my commitments. It’s the second full week of the month and I’m already spiraling back into all my old habits. I’m a complete failure.

I’ve been in this place before, too many times to count.  It’s a dark place to be — full of long hallways of self-loathing and entire rooms of guilt. I can’t do anything right. I don’t deserve to be thin and healthy. I’m going to die young (and alone!). I can’t stick with anything.

The worst part, I think, is that I feel crappy this week because I’m not going to the gym and making good food choices. I feel tired, sluggish and heavy.

Last week, though, I felt great. I was energetic, happy, ready to take on whatever life threw at me. After a workout, I felt sexy and fit.

Why do junk food and inertia have such power over me? How do I find the motivation to take steps toward a healthier lifestyle when it’s so much easier to wave the white flag from the couch while stuffing fistfuls of gummy bears into my mouth?

So far, the ability to stick to a diet and exercise plan has largely escaped me. What will it take for me to make these changes?

I don’t have the answers to those questions yet. Maybe I won’t ever. But I want to keep fighting, because the alternative will mean being unable to find anything other than a Hefty bag (OK, several Hefty bags with duct tape trim) to wear when the firemen are forced to bust me out the house because I’m too fat to fit through the front door.

So today I’m going to track what I eat. And I’m going to strap on my sneakers and clip on my iPod for a long workout at the gym. Maybe I’ll find my misplaced motivation there.

Your turn: What motivates you to take steps toward a healthier lifestyle?

 

Inspiration 01/03/2012

Filed under: inspiration,strategies,Working out — Diabetic Diva @ 2:36 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

As I freed my car from a glaze of ice and snow this morning, the wind cutting through my work-out pants, I started thinking about inspiration. Getting down to the nitty-gritty, I’m probably not the best person to be giving getting fit advice. After all, I’ve been trying to get in shape and lose weight for the better part of a decade with little success.

Try enough diets and you’ll pick up enough of the basics to know what you should be eating versus what you want to be eating. Because it all comes down to this simple truth — eat less, move more. And this girl has that figured out and in the process lost 140 pounds. You should check out her tumblr post on how she did it (caution — some might think the language is questionable).

And I also found this on my travels around the Internet this morning. While this is not an endorsement of Weight Watchers (although I did lose 75 pounds in a year on that program and made several lasting friendships), this post has some SMART (you’ll get it when you read the post) advice for people making and trying to keep New Years resolutions.

And finally, here’s a recipe I absolutely love from the Mayo clinic. I think I’ll make it next week.