A Farewell to Carbs

A 30-something navigating the world of Type 2 Diabetes while remaining fun, fashionable and fabulous.

My love life 02/14/2012

Filed under: inspiration — Diabetic Diva @ 8:16 am

I haven’t had much luck in the realm of dating for …. oh, about six years now. My mother is convinced that if I just got down to a “normal size,” I’d find a nice boy and settle down for good.

When I’m laying awake in bed in the middle of the night, worried I’m going to die alone, it’s hard not seize on that theory. This doesn’t soothe me at all. In fact, it makes me feel worse. The only thing standing between me and true love (or at least some mediocre sex) is about 75 pounds.

I’m outgoing and well-read. I have good taste in music, and I can cook. I think I’m funny. I have an interesting job and I have interesting friends. But all of that fades away when I’m face-to-face with a guy I like. I get tongue-tied and shy. I definitely don’t want to get intimate, lest he discover all my rolls of fat (because he totally can’t see them underneath the clothes, right?).  I won’t even get into the disaster that was online dating. And the few times I have gone out on dates (or quasi-dates), I’ve felt so uncomfortable in my own skin that I’ve completely squashed any chance that he’ll like my personality.

On my really bad days, I wonder why wearing cute clothes and worrying about my hair and those zits on my chin are even really worth it. Most guys only see me as the really fat girl. I might as well duct tape a Glad trashbag around myself and sell my hairbrush.

Strangely, this doesn’t really motivate me to break up with the junk food and end my intimate relationship with the couch. In fact, sometimes I decide to chuck the diet and the exercise out of spite. If no guy wants to look beyond the weight, screw ’em.

This is not the answer, I know. But it’s a hell of a lot easier than putting in the work to change.

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Making the choice 02/02/2012


“Life is a sum of all your choices.” –  Albert Camus

Every day for more years than I care to remember, I have made a choice to be unhealthy.

I have chosen to polish off that bag of sour cream and onion potato chips while watching television. I have chosen to skip the gym. I have chosen the gargantuan steak and french fries when I meet friends at a restaurant. I have chosen to drive rather than walk to the corner store. I have chosen to ignore all good sense when it comes to what I eat , when I eat it and how I can make up for it with moving more.

There was a brief time a few years back that I chose differently. I chose to watch what I eat, to treat the gym as a requirement instead of an option, to take small steps to improve my life. As a result, I lost 75 pounds in the space of a year. I started dating a cute boy. I improved my wardrobe options. I didn’t get winded while climbing a flight of stairs.

Then I got a new job, in a new town where I didn’t know anyone. I had a rough break up with a boy I’d been dating. I had trouble with my new boss. And I started making choices that were different from the ones that I’d been making.

All of which brings me to today. The choices I’ve made caused me to be 75+ pounds overweight. The choices I’ve made led me to be diabetic. After I was diagnosed, I continued to make bad choices.

These, plus the three pills at night, cost me more than $80 a month.

My choices have led me to being on four different medications, which cost me more than $80 a month. And if I keep making the same choices, I will die of any number of complications that come from having diabetes.

So really, my diabetes is making me choose. I either get serious about losing weight, eating right and getting healthy, or I face kidney failure, heart attack, blindness and possible amputation. When you start thinking like that, there’s really no choice at all.

That’s what I keep having to remind myself about, when that little voice in my head starts whispering that there’s always time to start getting healthy tomorrow or next week. When I get angry about my diabetes, or sad about it. When I feel lazy about going to the gym, when I get a craving for french fries or chocolate-covered caramels.

I can choose the easy way, the habits I’ve had for years now. Or I can choose better habits, ones that will lead me to a svelte figure, cute clothes and working kidneys. The choice is up to me.

Your turn: What healthy choices do you struggle with?

 

Inspiration 01/03/2012

Filed under: inspiration,strategies,Working out — Diabetic Diva @ 2:36 pm
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As I freed my car from a glaze of ice and snow this morning, the wind cutting through my work-out pants, I started thinking about inspiration. Getting down to the nitty-gritty, I’m probably not the best person to be giving getting fit advice. After all, I’ve been trying to get in shape and lose weight for the better part of a decade with little success.

Try enough diets and you’ll pick up enough of the basics to know what you should be eating versus what you want to be eating. Because it all comes down to this simple truth — eat less, move more. And this girl has that figured out and in the process lost 140 pounds. You should check out her tumblr post on how she did it (caution — some might think the language is questionable).

And I also found this on my travels around the Internet this morning. While this is not an endorsement of Weight Watchers (although I did lose 75 pounds in a year on that program and made several lasting friendships), this post has some SMART (you’ll get it when you read the post) advice for people making and trying to keep New Years resolutions.

And finally, here’s a recipe I absolutely love from the Mayo clinic. I think I’ll make it next week.

 

Cardio Now 01/01/2012

Filed under: Goals,inspiration,Working out — Diabetic Diva @ 9:07 pm
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Getting up this morning, the first day of the my new gettin’ healthy plan, was rough. Oh man. I could have slept until noon and then headed out to a friend’s for brunch.

But that was the old me. And I couldn’t start the month by not adhering to my goal of 30 minutes of exercise a day. So I rolled out of bed, changed into gym clothes (which look suspiciously like my pajamas), strapped on some sneakers way and tried to make my bedhead hair less scary.

On my drive to the gym, I told myself I would do 45 minutes of cardio, maybe a little weight lifting. It, uh, didn’t work out that way. Nope. 5 minutes into the elliptical machine (henceforth known as ‘The Bitch’), I thought I was going to die. 10 minutes, I began praying for death. I made it 15 minutes and then switched to the bike. I lasted 15 minutes on that and then crawled back to the locker room to collect my jacket.

In short, it was an embarrassing showing. I have only been out of the gym for two months. It felt like I’d spent the last two years being carried around by servants.

Tomorrow will be easier, of course. And in 2 months, I can look back at this and laugh at how hard 30 minutes at the gym was.

I have to give credit, though. Beyonce’s Run the World (Girls) got me through today.

Your turn: So what’s your go-to workout song, the one that inspires you to do 5 more minutes on The Bitch, or however you’re blasting calories?