A Farewell to Carbs

A 30-something navigating the world of Type 2 Diabetes while remaining fun, fashionable and fabulous.

The closet is bare 03/07/2012

Filed under: fashion — Diabetic Diva @ 9:56 am
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I have gotten stuck in a rut. I end up wearing the same four pairs of pants, the same six or so shirts, the same two pairs of shoes. I even have two favorite bras.

I have a gift card to Lane Bryant that I got for Christmas. I haven’t used it because I’m saving it for a “reward” for losing 20 pounds. Meanwhile, I have been working on my first five pounds for more than two months.

Full disclosure: I have an entire closet full of clothes. Two closets if you count the stuff that’s way too big and way too small. I have stuff that fits perfectly, but that I don’t like. Stuff that I like but need some small repairs. Shoes that don’t match anything I currently own. And lots and lots of stuff that feels just a little tight around the waist.

At the same time. I hate shopping for new stuff. I feel like a troll in those dressing room mirrors. Nothing looks the same on me as it does on those “plus size” models. (Fuck those size 12 models meant to be plus-size. Really.)

I often say that I’m comfortable in my own skin. And that’s not exactly a lie. I accept myself for who I am and I dream about the day that I can find a man to do the same. But loving my personality and my talent isn’t the same as loving myself in an A-line knee length skirt and a clingy twin-set.

It’s unfair that I know exactly how I’d dress if I had “the body for it.” And  it’s hard to think about losing another 5 pounds when I think about how much I need to lose to fit into the largest Gap clothing.

I don’t exactly know where I’m going with this post. There’s plenty of bloggers who write about being plus-size and fashionable. Maybe one day, I’ll be one of them.

But for today, I’m dreaming about fitting into this.


3 Responses to “The closet is bare”

  1. emma Says:

    Nice post. And, true for me, too. I always just wish I looked better in my clothes! I have finally just donated all my way too big and way too small clothes having read somewhere that when you lose weight you will want all new, more stylish clothes anyway! I realized that was true and pretty much got rid of everything. No more looking in the closet at clothes I wish I could get into. And, what is this thing we have about keeping too big clothes? I think that’s a defeatist thing….are we keeping them “just in case”?!! Argh, a never ending battle.

  2. emma Says:

    Please get out of your rut, Diva, I miss your posts!

    I’m not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I’ve nominated you for (awarded) the Sunshine Award because I love your blog! Check in at my blog (look for the “Sunshine on My Shoulders” post — I think you’ve already seen it) to find out what fabulous prizes you’ve won! ~ Emma

  3. emma Says:

    Ok, at the risk of being repetitive here . . . I’d like to share another honor that I received this week from a fellow blogger. You are now the recipient of The Versatile Blogger award! And, once again, because I’m so challenged in these things, I can’t post a link but will direct you to my blog and the “Go ahead, make my day!” post. Thanks for your blog and the inspiration!

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